This week brought more uncomfortable things. There's such a thing as Zyrtec withdrawal if you suddenly stop taking it. For 9 days, my hands and feet have been bright red, itchy, burning, and they feel like they're on fire. I hope it ends soon. *Update: it took 15 days for Zyrtec withdrawal to end, and it helped a lot that I had a steroid shot during this time or else it would have been more unmanageable.
This week there were more doctors, more tests, more needles, more blood work, more prescription medicine to start, more plans going forward, more scheduling of procedures to do next, more bills to pay when they catch up to us. I passed my allergy testing, yay. My constant allergy-like symptoms my whole life are because of a different problem I just found out about.
More questions about this week's new possible diagnosis. More waiting for results to trickle in to see if it’s the right diagnosis. But also more relief because we may have found the thing that’s broken in me that affects everything else and makes me chronically sick.
More happiness as my current medicines work … the bronchitis, wheezing, GERD, migraines, and sinus infection have stopped completely, and this week I started smelling and tasting again (most of my adult life I haven’t been able to) … but more overwhelm as all the tastes and smells hit me. More gratitude for modern medicine and doctors. More doing everything else in my own power to improve my health besides just the medical things.
More watching my weight climb, but more grace for myself because my body’s been through a whole lot of health troubles. Maybe it’ll come back down some day, maybe it won’t. It's okay.
More kindness to my body that feels beaten and worn out from my health history but is still carrying me through. More realization that most of my issues relate to the problem doctors believe is wrong with my body. More optimism for a future without health problems.
More binge watching The Crown and catching up to the current season. More working in the middle school library where this week I read more about Hitler’s rise to power and control, Anne Frank’s life and experiences, and slavery in America. More deep cleaning - last week it was washing cars and the house siding, this week it was washing windows, blinds, and curtains.
More sadness about my friend’s funeral. I had a doctor appointment at the same time, and the funeral was 2 hours away, so I didn’t go. But more smiles as I Googled it and read all the little details she planned to lighten the mood at her own funeral. More amazement as I read about how one person's life can affect so many people around the entire world who are all sharing their stories.
More soccer practices at night for Carson, 35 minutes away. More darkness earlier from Daylight Savings. More realizing our long, dark, isolating winter is coming. More warming myself with daily hot chocolate in the cold months.
More checking in with our adult kids and wishing I could lighten their loads in all ways. More happiness that we get to see them soon and all be together. More looking forward to rest, relaxation, sun, warmth, and family. More making memories.
