I got around to painting our master bathroom which was tricky because I had to climb on and around so many things to reach all the places to paint. Later today I'll paint two walls of our bedroom and the trim, then the other two walls next week and I'm finally done with all painting, woohoo! But mostly I don't have much to write about this past month because...
I stayed so busy last year with working, graduations, moving, getting a missionary ready, traveling to Utah a few times, and setting up house, that all the big changes and loss of the past year, plus things I gave up when we moved here instead of somewhere else, didn't fully hit until things slowed down more in January. The feeling of loss keeps resurfacing since then. I'm working hard to make this house our home we absolutely love each time we step inside. I'm working hard to get involved and make friends of all kinds and ages. I'm working hard to seek out fun things to do and see here. I'm working hard to see, make, and find beauty in the desert. I'm working hard to figure out this next phase of life we entered where we're not busy parenting younger kids anymore. These efforts are all helping, but it's still going to take time.
I had another dermatology appointment yesterday. I hoped with the removal of two moles last month, the cancer scare is gone, but my dermatologist told me they were pre-melanoma and may return with melanoma next, so I'll be returning for skin checks at least yearly if not sooner, forever. Then I pointed out a small raised patch of dry skin that won't go away on the tip of my nose. She looked through her magnifier and confirmed it's a group of pre-cancerous cells. She burned it with a cryogenic spray (ouch), and if that doesn't work and it comes back, in six weeks we'll burn it again or try a chemotherapy lotion to bring all the pre-cancerous cells to the surface and blister them off.
I also hoped one month of four pills daily, prescription face wash, and two prescription gels would fix my Rosacea, but it has not budged. So we're saying this month-long round of treatment didn't work at all. Now I have a few more different medicines to try for the next six weeks. I either have stubborn Rosacea that will hopefully respond soon to these new medicines, or else it's not Rosacea after all and the dermatologist will biopsy my cheek to see if it's Lupus instead. Here's this week's small flare-up for no reason.
For the past four weeks, I've adjusted my food and habits as recommended by my doctor for GERD and taken a prescribed pill every morning. I hoped all the efforts would magically make GERD go away, but I've found if I'm not extremely vigilant in following every single guideline all day every day, I hurt immediately. GERD has gone from 4-6 times each week down to 1-2 times, and that's better. But when I was hurting bad Monday night and my stomach was huge, it still felt like too often. My endoscopy is in three weeks. In the meantime, I've been searching online and in stores for more loose clothes to wear that don't look completely frumpy.
I'm realizing there is no quick and permanent fix to most of my health problems, even with doctors' help and medications. I always get my hopes up. Instead, I will be managing these problems for the rest of my life, choosing my daily actions and foods carefully, and that's been disheartening.
