My own emotional night was Thursday. Our time was winding down with 3/4 kids home, and there was a long list of things I had wanted to do that I realized wouldn't happen while Paige was home. This is always how it is. Instead, we spent ordinary days doing ordinary things, and it didn't feel like enough for the memories I wanted to make together. When Paige told me it was a fantastic week full of memories she'll have to carry her through her next months, I said, "What do you mean? We did nothing amazing. We didn't do all the exciting things I had planned. We stayed home and did regular things we always do." She said, "We did so much!" and she listed all the simple, ordinary things we did, but she listed them in a way that expressed they were just what she wanted and needed and misses when she's away.
I picture beforehand how it will be when our kids come home and all the things we'll see and do together. And then it's not quite what I planned in my head. Often they just want to stay home and relax and be together and do nothing amazing outside of the house, and that's what they've been missing the most and need to do. So I lower my expectations or give up what I thought we'd do, and I roll with what they want. But she was right and there were a lot of memories made just staying around our house and being together.
Later that night she sent me a picture of a journal entry she wrote on May 15, 2010: "So far today has been great! I picked lots of flowers for my mom. Yesterday was really warm. We played outside for a long time. Then for dinner we had a picnic, but that was yesterday. Later on today we will go to Dairy Queen. Yum!!"
Here's a picture of her in 2010 for a good visual.
And the truth hit me that the ordinary days make the everyday memories and feelings that last a lifetime. There are wonderful vacations and memorable events here and there, and I really look forward to those to break up the monotony I feel, but most of life is made up of ordinary days together doing ordinary things. The things Paige wrote about that made a fantastic day and good memory in 2010 were picking flowers for her mom, playing outside, warm weather, a picnic, and a trip to DQ. They're simple things she would probably still write about today that she enjoys. I imagine she'll write a similar entry about this week, with all the ordinary things that filled our week with good feelings and memories.
I've been searching this year for little things every day that make me smile. Ordinary things on ordinary days. I want to notice them more often. Enjoy them. Appreciate them. Not look beyond them for something better. There are a lot of long, ordinary days here and it's hard for me.
